Creative App seems to have been going great guns since Planner Buyer last reported on their inception. Last month the team managed to plan and deliver their first campaign for Massive Travel. The process can only be described as a wonder of team work and brilliant agency planning, buying and campaign management.

Monday:
The brief given was to deliver 1,000,000 acquisitions or holiday sales over a 4 week period, with a budget of £10,000. Stephen Hawking, recently promoted from analyst was given the task of planning the campaign, …

Alarm bells rang yesterday as Precise Media were under pressure to explain why they appear to have developed a nuclear reactor in their new offices in Victoria. New aerial photography released by MI5 clearly shows what appears to be a Grade 2 nuclear facility only half a mile away from Buckingham Palace and the Houses of Parliament.

Precise Media has been under increasing scrutiny over recent months over it’s aggressive insurgence into the digital market. Their results have been highly praised leaving many in the industry questioning how these …

Chigwell Primary school has announced that it is the first Primary education establishment to be offering full Honours degrees in Media Planning. The controversial move has split the industry with some saying that this has dumbed down an exact science.
Bob Rocker, lecturer in Media Planning and art teacher, told us;
“This is a demanding course for the students. We have developed a tough course. Students need to know how to place the correct number of coloured lego blocks next to the people they have played with best at …

“In the spirit of Christmas and the never ending self promotion, a celebrity agency has been set up under the tutelage of media mogul Janet Street Porter. In Janet’s own words the challenge was not so much to highlight any good causes or give something back but, “to see if we could take these useless fuckers and make some bloody cash for me out of these spineless sales shits.”

Her planning and buying staff include Simon Cowell, Jordan, and Kerry Katona.

“So far I think we have the media …

Exclusive research by commissioned by Plannerbuyer has for the first time revealed how sales people are approaching the digital agency world and how their counterparts view their efforts.
Plannerbuyer approached real agency people to ask them to give their frank opinions. If you are a sales person with a sensitive but over-inflated ego, this may make uncomfortable reading, so please turn away now.
Mates
It would appear that everyone enjoys being popular and it would appear that planners and buyers are the most popular boys and girls going with each one having an …

When times are hard, new technology isn’t always the only solution. Struggling saleshouse Ads4All have taken their behavioural targeting to the next stage by employing a behavioural expert on the sales side if the business. Their latest employee, “Tony” started for the company in March this year and has tripled revenues within the space of two months. It appears Tony has been approaching agencies and asking them to “adjust” their behaviour and book with Ads4All.

Despite all campaigns falling on their arse Tony has still managed to keep re-bookings at 100%. …

I am strongly considering hiring a new salesperson. Specifically, a tramp.

This bright idea dawned on me in a stupor business meeting in a bustling media friendly Covent Garden hostelry. Now you may think this idea lacks merit but try these on for size:-

1) Most of my agency clients look like tramps so it will be a sartorial meeting of minds. Admittedly, your average agency hipster smells a little better than a tramp but their annunciation is usually poor to the point of being mistaken for the mewling of …

A report released by Neilson yesterday re-enforced what many in the media world have known for a long time. Regardless of whether the people are sales or agency the results are shown to be broadly the same.
The extensive survey, conducted over the last 5 years shows that there is a direct correlation between the amount of time spent in Media and how much of a twat someone is. In all cases the first 6 months to a year shows that where people are new and have little experience …