Creative App seems to have been going great guns since Planner Buyer last reported on their inception. Last month the team managed to plan and deliver their first campaign for Massive Travel. The process can only be described as a wonder of team work and brilliant agency planning, buying and campaign management.

Monday:
The brief given was to deliver 1,000,000 acquisitions or holiday sales over a 4 week period, with a budget of £10,000. Stephen Hawking, recently promoted from analyst was given the task of planning the campaign, …

TIMBUKTU – At the recent MSCA’s ( Media Self Congratulatory Awards ) the guest of honour, Prime Minister Gordon Brown delivered a staggering outburst on his opinion of the age old agency vs media owner divide in attempt to deflect from the current expenses debacle his crooked party are involved in.
‘ Agencies? – don’t get me started. Those c***s really grip my shit. With all that ‘Labour isn’t working’ hooey. They’re the ones not fucking working and if any of them come to me with a begging bowl to bail …

Alarm bells rang yesterday as Precise Media were under pressure to explain why they appear to have developed a nuclear reactor in their new offices in Victoria. New aerial photography released by MI5 clearly shows what appears to be a Grade 2 nuclear facility only half a mile away from Buckingham Palace and the Houses of Parliament.

Precise Media has been under increasing scrutiny over recent months over it’s aggressive insurgence into the digital market. Their results have been highly praised leaving many in the industry questioning how these …

LONDON – John Watkins made the bold decision to resign from top sales house Adtribe  citing the recession as his reason to leave his £60,000 a year job.
Speaking to plannerbuyer.com John said that he needed to make a stand as “sales people all over the country are being denied commission because of this recession.  It used to be that a nice lunch out was all it took to get a nice chunk of business.  Now expenses are being cut back people are having to actually sell! It’s a disgrace!  Someone …

LONDON:  Starting with a high profile presence at a series of London media award ceremonies, Columbia Tourism is seeking to reduce costs among both agencies and media owners through the provision of very large quantities of cocaine, PlannerBuyer has exclusively learned.
The deal has been met with unbridled enthusiasm at agency and media owner alike, from those on the shop floor to very senior players.
Details are unclear as yet as to how the nosebag will be distributed but PlannerBuyer was at a recent night out celebrating the inking of the deal …

Chigwell Primary school has announced that it is the first Primary education establishment to be offering full Honours degrees in Media Planning. The controversial move has split the industry with some saying that this has dumbed down an exact science.
Bob Rocker, lecturer in Media Planning and art teacher, told us;
“This is a demanding course for the students. We have developed a tough course. Students need to know how to place the correct number of coloured lego blocks next to the people they have played with best at …

“In the spirit of Christmas and the never ending self promotion, a celebrity agency has been set up under the tutelage of media mogul Janet Street Porter. In Janet’s own words the challenge was not so much to highlight any good causes or give something back but, “to see if we could take these useless fuckers and make some bloody cash for me out of these spineless sales shits.”

Her planning and buying staff include Simon Cowell, Jordan, and Kerry Katona.

“So far I think we have the media …

Exclusive research by commissioned by Plannerbuyer has for the first time revealed how sales people are approaching the digital agency world and how their counterparts view their efforts.
Plannerbuyer approached real agency people to ask them to give their frank opinions. If you are a sales person with a sensitive but over-inflated ego, this may make uncomfortable reading, so please turn away now.
Mates
It would appear that everyone enjoys being popular and it would appear that planners and buyers are the most popular boys and girls going with each one having an …

Sometimes the truth needs to be pointed out…courteousy of an anonymous email source.
Media: hello, Pointless Media
Agency: Hi media monkey whose name I can’t be bothered to remember, it’s Blah from The Really Big and Important Agency. Thanks for the weak attempt at bribery last week when you took my whole team out for masses of drinks although we both know 7 of them were creative and will never make a buying decision.
Media: Ahh yes, the smeg head that can’t be bothered to return my calls, how can I attempt to …

LONDON – Starting next month Media Wars will hit our screens. The programme will pit Media Owners against each other and Media Agencies against each other in street fights, cage matches and pitched battles. Each week the losing company will be closed and up to 1500 people will lose their livelihood.
The first week matches Adrevenue against Vastclick in what is said to be quite a spectacle, and Wediacom against BigMunchMedia in what is being billed as the first potential giant killing.
Media bosses have been keen to get involved saying …