Universally computers

London: A heady mixture of excitement and mistrust was palpapble as the usually lethargic, uninspired and generally pasty workers at Digital Agency Universally McCom gathered around the plain brown box delivered to the board room earlier this week.

The employees had been told that the contents of said box would revolutionise the way their media planning would be done.

A hushed silence fell as John Dildon, Senior Cross Media Trading Manager and Head of Online Media Buying Executive, approached branishing a pair of scissors with clear intenet. Upon opening the mystery package the gathered congregation responded with a mixture of awe and joy, although a quiet sob, possibly in fear of this new artifact, could be heard from a junior planner at the back.

Raised above his head Dildon proclaimed that the future was here, but he wasn’t evenly spread…no it was the technology that wasn’t…or something. Either way, he thought he had said something profound. A couple of planners were now cowering in the background in the shadow of this mighty creation that was to be called a com-pewtor.

“Now you may plan with exacting precision, you may reconcile with unerving accuracy and ease. You can actually see where your campaigns are going – we are going to be the cutting edge of Digital Technology! With these ZX Spectrums, 2010 will be our year!!!”.

Cue much applause and fevered excitement.

2 months on and like all other offices at the cutting edge, planners are still planning on the back of fag packets based on who has flattered the most and what was on the previous months plan. The office still chimes with the sound of the odd voice breaking the silence with “no mate…there’s no bugdet this month”, or, “sorry I’m too busy/got a client meeting/where are we going for lunch (delete as appropriate)”.

The computers are still there and doing what they have always been designed to do in the workplace – play solitaire or access Facebook.