LONDON: Some see it as a barbaric practice. Others, a necessary threshing of dead wood out of the industry. Make of it what you will but last Thursday, Rita Spunky McVae was publicly ridiculed and excommunicated from the London media sales community.
Her crime?
Honesty.
Her punishment?
Being stripped naked, covered in boiling tar, rolled in white feathers to symbolize cowardice, paraded along Charlotte St trussed to a pole and then chased out of the West End. All accompanied by a brass band, bunting in the street and a baying mob of inebriated media salespeople.
The ceremony was undertaken by the industry body overseeing honesty in media sales, the New media Online Overseeing Nefarious Emissions, commonly known as NO ONE.
Ms Spunky McVae’s former line manager Harry Kuntz of Hashitup Fillitinagain Publishing agreed totally with NO ONE’s judgement.
“ She had it coming. I mean, for fucks sake – she was asked the actual circulation figures of the magazines and told this planner the truth. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Some say it might be harsh that she was a grad and had only been there 6 months but we’ve got to stamp out this kind of honesty. Agencies may come to expect it.
In fact, I shopped her to the NO ONE and I’d do it again “
This has raised major questions that honesty may be rife amongst junior salespeople. Senior NO ONE henchmen have advised:
“ If in doubt, inflate everything by 25%. More if you can manage it. As of next month we’ll be arranging a series of dishonesty seminars to make sure this blight on the industry is nipped in the bud “.