Chigwell Primary school has announced that it is the first Primary education establishment to be offering full Honours degrees in Media Planning. The controversial move has split the industry with some saying that this has dumbed down an exact science.

Bob Rocker, lecturer in Media Planning and art teacher, told us;

“This is a demanding course for the students. We have developed a tough course. Students need to know how to place the correct number of coloured lego blocks next to the people they have played with best at breaktime. Each coloured block represents £10,000 for a campaign. So far we have had considerable success with most achieving first class degrees and with a bright future ahead in Media. We equip them with a comprehensive set of tools to be able to walk straight into the industry. Very rarely we get a problem student, little Tommy wee’d himself the other day and Jane cried when she didn’t get any coloured blocks but we remind the students that these are just some of the challenges they face when working in a real agency.”

Bognor Primary school are looking very closely at the progress of this course and will soon decide whether they will launch their own Sales and Negotiation degree, features of which are learning to be verbally abused by a complete stranger and getting drunk whilst still being able to be civil.

The Department for Education is said to be delighted at the pilot scheme and released a statement saying;

“This is another example of how we are pushing boundaries and maintaining our high standards of education for our young people.”