One constant in the dizzy world of New Media is the age old tradition of Media Owners and Junior Plannerbuyers idling away a lunchtime hour or two over a jolly pleasant lunch. Convening in a convenient bistro whilst gorging over the finer details of a particularly complex and in depth brief, the unlikely bed fellows use the time wisely to work towards a mutually beneficial and occasionally ground breaking media first for the benefit of a client.
Of course it isn’t always this way, and it has been known, ye gods, …

Let Plannerbuyer know if you know of anything similar or heard better;

Planner – “Can you give me a detailed breakdown of what you are going to do to optimise this campaign?”
Media O – “I have spoken to ad opts (sic) and they will optimize (sic) so you should see an improvement.”
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Planner – “I am looking to target an audience of 35-44 year old women who like to go to the pub and reminisce about their school ski trips, what can you do for this?”
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Media O – “I have an opportunity …

TIMBUKTU – At the recent MSCA’s ( Media Self Congratulatory Awards ) the guest of honour, Prime Minister Gordon Brown delivered a staggering outburst on his opinion of the age old agency vs media owner divide in attempt to deflect from the current expenses debacle his crooked party are involved in.
‘ Agencies? – don’t get me started. Those c***s really grip my shit. With all that ‘Labour isn’t working’ hooey. They’re the ones not fucking working and if any of them come to me with a begging bowl to bail …

Chigwell Primary school has announced that it is the first Primary education establishment to be offering full Honours degrees in Media Planning. The controversial move has split the industry with some saying that this has dumbed down an exact science.
Bob Rocker, lecturer in Media Planning and art teacher, told us;
“This is a demanding course for the students. We have developed a tough course. Students need to know how to place the correct number of coloured lego blocks next to the people they have played with best at …

LONDON – WPLPRCSCMG is to close its wedia.com arm and replace it with something else pretty similar but with a spangly name, ‘Trendy Interactive Trendy Stuff’
‘We’ve noticed some other agencies doing stuff and it looks like fun’, said a senior executive. ‘ With a bit of luck we may be able to wangle some new chairs too ‘.
Asked for further explanation the executive waxed lyrical “Interactive stuff is very important, yeah, and that outdoor stuff and TV as well.”
“We hadn’t had a brainstorm for, like over an hour so after …

When times are hard, new technology isn’t always the only solution. Struggling saleshouse Ads4All have taken their behavioural targeting to the next stage by employing a behavioural expert on the sales side if the business. Their latest employee, “Tony” started for the company in March this year and has tripled revenues within the space of two months. It appears Tony has been approaching agencies and asking them to “adjust” their behaviour and book with Ads4All.

Despite all campaigns falling on their arse Tony has still managed to keep re-bookings at 100%. …

667 Games have today been defending their decision to sell in game advertising for their latest console game, “Farmyard Murder Xtreme!”. The game which is due to be released on Mother’s Day has attracted criticism for its graphic scenes where characters are seen to smoke cigarettes.

In the game where players are rewarded for the genocide of goats and other farm yard animals, including a cute kitten, the farmer is seen smoking a pipe in several scenes. Parents have complained in their 3’s, one even writing to President Brown saying, …

LONDON – Starting next month Media Wars will hit our screens. The programme will pit Media Owners against each other and Media Agencies against each other in street fights, cage matches and pitched battles. Each week the losing company will be closed and up to 1500 people will lose their livelihood.
The first week matches Adrevenue against Vastclick in what is said to be quite a spectacle, and Wediacom against BigMunchMedia in what is being billed as the first potential giant killing.
Media bosses have been keen to get involved saying …

SEATTLE – There were worrying developments today in the planned acquisition of Yahoo! by Microsoft.
Following the breakdown of recent talks between the two internet giants, a secret paper has been leaked, detailing the invasion of Yahoo! The paper outlines a planned initial strike by Microsoft Special Forces followed by a simultaneous launching of ground troops and harsh emails. A postscript on the document states Microsoft’s frustration with the competitor stating,

“These assholes have had enough time. Let’s take these fuckers down!”

Yahoo! have responded telling Plannerbuyer.com that they are a peaceful …